December 4, 2000
I have been digging out my closets lately, even going through the boxes of stuff from high school and beyond. I realized I haven't moved in over a year (a first since I was 18), and that I hadn't had my yearly purge. So far, I've pitched a whole black trash bag full of stuff, and amassed an impressive pile of garage-sale stuff to get rid of in the spring.

A long time ago, I figured out that the best reason to hang on to things is that you get to go through them regularly, and savor each memory one last time--before you get rid of it, with no mercy.

The teddy bear from my very first boyfriend wasn't really serving a purpose. It's not as though I'll give that one to my first child. But each year, as I've taken it in my hands and remembered the skittish feeling I had at the age of 13 when I got my first boy-gift, I've been a little less moved, until this year, it was finally ok to let it go. Maybe it'll bring a nickel at the garage sale.

Through this yearly purge, I'm literally making room in my life for new memories and objects with every one I throw away. My head and heart, like my closet, have a maximum capacity, and it does me good to get rid of a few more things each year.

I've heard organization advocates talk about boxing up things you think you can't bear to part with, and putting a date on them, then pitching them on that date if you haven't dug anything out of the box. This seems a bit heartless to me--I think you miss something if you don't go through the items and say goodbye to them. Of course, you have to resign yourself to saying goodbye. It does no good to "rescue" memories or items from the box at that stage.

If you have any great sites to recommend or comments on what you would like to see in this newsletter, please feel free to contact me at Betsy@HerReality.com

Betsy Boyd
Editor, HerReality

 
       
   
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This time of year, it's easy to get caught up in the stressful whirl of shopping, thinking of ways to please your friends and family, and often, pressing year-end deadlines at work. One technique to help you keep from melting like a snowman is to keep track of what you're thankful for.

Seasonal Gratitudes
Make a theme for your gratitudes. Use the seasons or months to help you think in the right direction.

Make a list of what great things happen in the winter, summer, spring or fall season.

The list goes outside of who you are and into your surroundings--think about things that happen and are good for your friends and family.

Try to think about the good that just happens, no matter what you do or don't do. Keeping track of the list helps you tune into the incredible things that happen each day.

At the end of the week, or the end of the month, or the end of the year, try writing down a meditation of sorts that details wonderful things that have happened to you in that period of time. Think about the challenges you've faced and the lessons you've learned. Writing them down in a positive way can help you in the future when you face a new challenge.

 
       
       
Merging your furniture and style with another person can be a tricky proposition. The older you get, the more locked into a certain interior style you get. I was raised in a house that could be best described as "oh, Lord, where are we going to put THAT?!" Between inheritances of mostly barely-antique pieces, and more recently acquired items from the 19th century, it's always been hard for my family to "decide" on a style. The only consistent theme in my house was chaos.

I used to hate that, but then I began to understand the importance of cherishing pieces that have belonged to your family. I am thrilled to have the kitchen table from my grandparents' house, for example. Not because it is old, but because it was theirs. The 19th century mirror I just inherited from my Aunt doesn't match it at all, but I'll figure out a way to make it work.

I've done some crafty blending already, mixing my very new bookcases in with the somewhat older chair I have from my Great-Grandfather's house, and the oak office chair from the 1920s I bought for myself. The trick: keep the new stuff neutral, and look for additional stuff at flea markets that will help you bridge the differences.

You've probably heard about Ikea--they've furnished the Real World houses on MTV for several years, if that rings a bell. The problem is they are a bit of a secret, as far as finding the stores is concerned. Though they've been in the country for at least 10 years, they still only have fewer than 20 locations. And until very recently, you could look at their catalogue, but there was no way to buy the items unless you went to the store. If you have the good fortune to live in a city where a store exists, I'm incredibly jealous.

I'm going on about this store because of the fact that it is a great source for the "neutral" furniture I'm talking about that can act as a bridge among the stuff you've collected. Take my bookcases, for example. They're unfinished pine, totally collapsible, and while they possess a certain visual weight, it's mostly the books you see, and not the cases. My favorite feature of these shelves is that they are easily taken apart. This is handy, given my yearly migration.

Ikea's collection of stuff is too big for me to discuss fully here. Check out the link and get yourself a catalogue.

IKEA

 
       

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